11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
