I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
