I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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