i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
