4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm like, not good at living.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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