Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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