Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
