was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
