Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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