so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize