my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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