So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
