i need an iv and a liver transplant
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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