i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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