just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
