Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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