i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
