Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
