Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
