i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
