I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
