If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize