I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
