have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
