easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
