I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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