she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
