I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
