once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He better not be in your backpack
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
