Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
