Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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