If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
