Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
that is very illegal...i love you.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
