i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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