and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
