for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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