so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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