So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
