Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
