dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize