Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
