She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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