You're so nebulous sometimes
You smell like a Billy Joel song
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
