i need an iv and a liver transplant
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
