O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
