just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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