No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
