Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
