I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
