Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
