It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
