she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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