I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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