remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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