Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
