my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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