I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Randomize
